we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
