I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
