I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
