So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
