I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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