Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
