Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
