Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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