Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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