never play flip cup with pint glasses
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
