There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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