where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
