It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
