It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
