I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The uberlube is also flammable
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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