i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
