Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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