you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
