Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize