Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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