we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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