i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
