I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
