Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I could make wine with my vomit
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
