my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
