yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
