I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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