He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
