i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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