After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize