i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we made out on top of his cat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
