don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
