We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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