Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
