At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
