she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
