You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
