WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize