Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My pussy is not your playground.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
