omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
