No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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