The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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