How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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