So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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