The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
