Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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