I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
