I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
