honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
