I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
