We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
