Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he fucked my hip out of place.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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