so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
