so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
