went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
be right there i have to get my cape
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
