he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
