he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize