i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
