just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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