craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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